


Half and Half

by fiveainley_ohmy



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bones acts grumpy but secretly he is SOOOO happy, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Magic, Polyamory, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23387437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: Jim is under a witch’s curse. Can true love’s kiss save him?
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	Half and Half

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this up when I was half asleep. *shrug*

“Goddammit, Jim! You just had to go and piss off a witch and get yourself turned into a statue!” Bones groused at the stone figure before him. “An’ the worst part is you can’t even hear me yellin’ at you for it!”

In his defense, Jim hadn’t _meant_ to piss off a witch. How was he to know that the garden he’d accidentally fallen into was the herb garden of a sorceress with a bad temper?

“Dearie me oh my,” squeaked Jermella, the pink-haired delegate from the planet Gramderosa that had been chosen to show them around. Gramderosa seemed to work on fairy tale logic. Bones had been to a lot of ridiculous planet in his time aboard the _Enterprise_ but Gramderosa was by far the worst offender. “Not to fret, Doctor McCoy-kins. I’ll look up this spell and we’ll solve it in no time.”

Bones shared a look with Spock, who to the Vulcan’s credit, seemed to hate this planet as much as he did. Jermella clapped her hands and a large, bubble gum pink grimoire appeared in a cloud of glitter. “Now then, let’s see, stone, stone, stone...aha! ‘ _The surefire cure to this terrible jinx, is the kiss of truest love, methinks!_ ’”

“ _You thinks?_ ” Bones repeated incredulously.

“Well it rhymes...so it must be true!” Jermella chirped.

Bones sighed. “Welp, when needs must...kiss him, Spock.”

Spock stepped forward and kissed Jim’s stone lips chastely. Sure enough, the captain’s skin faded from white stone to flesh...

At least everything about the navel.

“It only _half_ worked!” Bones griped. “Goddammit, the man’s legs are still solid rock!”

“Uh...what happened? And also, hi. And also, I didn’t do anything, I swear!” Jim said defensively.

“Captain, it would seem a witch has cast a spell on you, but our attempt to undo the curse’s effects were hindered,” Spock stated.

Jim looked down. “Holy mackerel! I can’t feel my toes!”

“Jim, I’d kick you in the nards for getting yourself into this mess, but I’m pretty sure I’d only succeed in breaking my foot,” Bones growled. He rounded on the pink-haired lady. “I thought you said a kiss was a surefire cure!”

“It must be! After all, it r-”

“Rhymes, yeah, I heard! Well explain then why it didn’t work!”

“But it did,” Spock piped up. “The only problem was that my kiss was only half of the solution.”

“Yes! Why, your Cappy-doodle must have _two_ true loves! Without _both_ their kisses, he will remain half man...and half rocky-wocky.”

“Well I hate to break it to ya, Cotton Candy Hair, but Jim’s other true love is his ship, and the _Enterprise_ doesn’t have lips.”

“Doctor, your grasp of the obvious continues to astound me,” said Spock, rolling his eyes.

“What? You know something I don’t?”

“Yes, but also something that anyone with functional senses could perceive.”

“ _What?!_ ”

“Leonard...just kiss him already.”

Bones’s eyes widened. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It is quite clear to me that you and Jim have romantic feelings for each other for quite a long time, but neither of you has ever acted on them on the belief that the other only considers the relationship fraternal. I assure you, Doctor, Jim does in fact share your feelings.”

Bones blushed. “I...I...”

“Oh, Bones, get _over_ here already!” Jim yanked the doctor toward him and pulled him into a fervent kiss. Bones felt Jim’s leg wrap around him, trying to pull him even closer, and blushed even more. Jim broke the kiss with a wet smack, positively beaming. “Now _that_ was a long time coming.”

“So’s this.” Bones smacked him upside the head...but not _too_ hard. “Quit gettin’ yourself in trouble!”

“Aww, Bonesy, you _do_ care,” Jim gushed, craning upward for another kiss, but Bones playfully pushed him away. He gave Spock a skeptical look. “And you’re actually _okay_ with this?”

“On the contrary, I’ve desired this for quite sometime myself.” Then _he_ stepped forward and planted one on Bones!

“ _Would everyone stop kissing me?!_ ” Bones grouched, flushing a bright red.

“You _really_ want us to stop?” Jim said with a knowing smile.

Bones crossed his arm, scowling. Then he murmured out a teeny, tiny... “ _No._ ”

“That’s what I thought!” Jim said gleefully as he and Spock crowded in to cover Bones in kisses.

Jermella giggled. “The power of true loves strikes again!”


End file.
